20 Lessons from Sarah Jakes Roberts: Lost and Found

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In case you have never heard of Sarah Jakes Roberts, she is mega preacher Bishop Jakes second daughter and fourth child.
I heard of her for the first time from my mentor. She had written this blog post and added a line from Sarah’s Empty Handed.
Destiny doesn’t just separate you, it isolates you…

I didn’t quite feel drawn to her until I started seeing clips of the video on Instagram. ‘Empty Handed’ had gone really viral and clips from the video, somehow just always appeared on my explore page.


I decided to get the video and when I finally watched it, I knew I had found another teacher especially for this season of my life.

I started doing my research on her and her story is Incredible.

She got pregnant at 13, same year her father was announced America’s best preacher, she had her son at 14, got into college at 16, dropped out, waitressed for over 2 months at a strip club, quit, got married at 19, got divorced at 22, remarried at 25 to pastor Toure Roberts who is 14 years older and together they have 5 kids. Sarah will be 28 in July.

I recall reading her story and thinking I would like to experience life through her eyes..
The one question on my mind was, how did she move from that woman to the woman she is now?
How did she move from that 13 year old pregnant girl to this 28 year old woman that exudes so much depth?
I watched videos upon videos about her story. She has this 8 part webisodes that was recorded during her book tour. Each video discusses the stages of healing she had to undergo and how each season and stage of that journey culminated in the book- Lost and Found.


With every video I watched I believed in grace all over again. I knew those videos couldn’t do, so I got a friend to lend me the book after downloading the first 43 pages of the book online.
I wasn’t prepared for the perspective that was about to hit me, so after finishing the book under two days I KNEW I had to read it again. I read it twice in four days.

I couldn’t believe it too lol
I’m kidding, I could believe it, I ravaged the book, I was HUNGRY plus the book was under 300 pages, so it wasn’t a biggie as such.
I have never read a book this thoroughly transparent before. I mean Sarah went in deep on her journey, she literally walked me through over 10 years of her life, the several detours, her journey to healing and finally been found.

The depth she was communicating was really intense, I knew instinctively I had to compile some things that jumped at me while reading.

If you have ever felt like you didn’t fit in, felt lost, made mistakes that came with scars you have had to wear publicly as a consequence or maybe even privately, if you have ever been betrayed, confused, struggled with esteem issues you need to read this book.

I have over 100 nuggets compiled, I will be sharing just 20. Twenty to wet your appetite enough you go get yourself a copy. I am not sure the book is in Nigeria though, my friend got hers through someone who got it out of the country. You can check Laterna or Roving Heights, you can also get the e-copy on Amazon.

Below are 20 lessons I gleaned from the book:

1. Doing the right thing will make you better but doesn’t make life any easier.

2. It is not always easy to trust the eyes of others to see your dream the way you see it. When you are under construction, everyone becomes an architect. They want to re-arrange your dream to fit what they think it should look like or what they believe is more attainable. They say things like “don’t dream too big”, “you can do better”, or worse, “you will never build a life like that”.

3. God is not asking us to be crucified for our sins, he is asking us to make his sacrifice count. We honour Christ’s life when we explore the depths of his forgiveness or the beauty of grace.

4. Don’t make decisions about your life based on how others feel.

5. When you become the victim of rumours and prejudgement, you become more compassionate when you hear someone else being judged.

6. Fear has got to be one of the greatest emotions humans experience. We depend on its strength to teach unforgettable lessons. We hope that the fear of getting burned will be enough to keep us from touching fire.

7. Do not diminish the pain you feel, that has the potential to heal others because you are trying to protect your name.

8. Marriage with the right person is worth the investment.

9. Because we believe that nobody can accept us for who we are, we begin to settle for the part of us people like and amplify that side at the expense of other parts of us.

10. Love should be used as a tool to build and not as a weapon to destroy.

11. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable if you want to be stretched. There is no way you will get from where you are to where you want to be without pain.

12. Your life doesn’t have to resemble a fairy tale for your dream to come true.

13.No one can grow your roots for you.

14. The best way to teach others about God is to love them.

15. Anytime your right to feel, think and communicate has been stifled, you are in trouble.

16. Until you accept that you have no power over when someone will reap what they have sown, you will always be staring at the ground waiting for their harvest and missing your own.

17. One detour doesn’t cancel our destination.

18. How you handle a set back will determine your come back.

19. Keep your heart pure and your faith strong.

20. The voice on our inside makes us believe we can do great things in life but it doesn’t always mean we can do it alone. No one attains destiny alone.


I absolutely recommend this book. For every teenage girl, young ladies in their 20’s and basically every woman.
My life is better because of Sarah’s transparency and now I understand more that some mistakes in life can be avoided. Like Sarah puts it, “my story is not a license but a cautionary tale”
I truly pray these lessons resonates for you as it did for me.

P.S It’s been four months since the year started and four months since I wrote my post ‘Some things I have resolved to do this year’.
Life hasn’t been all that but I have been consistent with smashing my goals and so far I have  also been diligent with keeping myself accountable too and for that I am so happy & grateful.