Being 23, Woman and Christian

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The thing about being 23, Woman and Christian in 2017 is:

  • You begin to realize that it is normal to outgrow people
  • Your priorities begins to shift. The desire to appear like you have it all together begins to wane. You practice being human more consciously and gradually you start to wear your vulnerabilities openly. In a group, you realize that you don’t have an overt need to assert yourself every time to be seen. You begin to understand that while assertiveness is good and is in fact a life skill, at times you need to be quiet to be heard.
  • You begin to understand that Christianity really is about intimacy not proximity and while activity is good, you don’t serve God to show him you love him. You love and out of the outflow of that love is service. When you love God, serving him is a natural consequence. When you love you give.
  • As a woman you begin to realize that ‘husband’s house’ is not a place, it is an expression.
  • You begin to understand that authenticity is not performed; just like innocence, it is unconscious.
  • As a Christian, you realize that some things are caught not taught.
  • You begin to walk in the understanding that nobody has the right to explain your own experience to you and if they must, they have to earn it.
  • You begin to understand that it is not everything smaller than you that you are bigger than.
  • You begin to take ownership of your thoughts. You earn psychological permission to think your own thoughts and just BE.
  • You understand that there is power in definition. Defining things and defining things rightly are two different things. What is right and what you think is right are also two different things. God, a relationship with God, a deep, rich, intimate relationship with God gives you that solid anchor and helps you find that balance.
  • You begin to realize as a woman that gossip taints you, you may try to justify it because of the momentary pleasure that comes from discussing flaws that aren’t yours but if you check closely you realize that who you are becoming because of what you are doing is not worth it. Gossip scars you.
  • You begin to understand that validation from people is not necessarily a proof that you are right or that you are doing the right thing or on the right path. People cheer what they think is right. That they cheer you on doesn’t mean you are not wrong.
  • You begin to understand that you need to live for and live out a truth that comes from within. Your identity needs to be rooted in Christ and nothing else and while at it, you must become a woman whose decision making system is not rooted in the praises and criticisms of people.
  • You begin to realize in really practical terms that the people you meet, the things you enjoy, the things you love and are passionate about are not mere incidences. They are pointers, signs, signals.
  • You begin to understand that God’s purpose for your life is a progressive revelation. He can’t tell it all to you at once. Just like in the movies, you get a trailer/teaser and then settle back to enjoy the movie. So is a walk with God, He gives you mini trailers/teasers here and there but He never shows you the whole picture.
  • You suddenly begin to take responsibility for your actions, decisions and choices. The blame game, doesn’t just cut it anymore.You understand that you need to be loyal to your future and now is the time to set the foundation for it. You begin to major on the minor that your generation considers minor because you understand that that is where the extra is. You bury the entitlement mentality, embrace integrity, embrace godliness, improve on your character and make lamentations 3:27 your anthem.
  • While you are on a quest to make your best behavior your only behavior, you also realize it is important to laugh at yourself at times. You learn to have fun and be fun.
  • At 23, you have lots of opinions and you are smug about them, you are even tempted to think you know it all. Because you are wise,  you realize that humility for you has to be a daily, conscious and deliberate decision. However you chose to define humility is fine, but at the core of what humility is, is you understanding that who you are, and whatever you think you know should never be a reason you look down on people.
  • You begin to understand and accept that you are never always right.
  • At 23, just like taking selfies, looking good, driving and writing. Opinion management is a skill you will need to learn. You don’t have to have an opinion about everything. It takes humility to understand this. It’s the reason why I deliberately put this point after the point above.
  • Un-looking things especially on social media is another skill you will need to make it through this year. You might want to or even slip into the I am purposeless phase  because you don’t have a stage and a microphone or attend conferences, especially since social media glorifies this. Un-look, and while at it understand that a microphone, attending conferences and pulpits is an inaccurate standard for defining purpose. Purpose may  include all these but is not limited to these.
  • At 23, you realize that If you are not living for people’s expectations, you cannot judge them by yours. You extend the same grace you want others to show to you.

There is a lot to be said for being 23, woman and christian, there really  is a lot to be said for being human but at the core of all these is four words; Live and let live.