Yesterday in a conversation with some people, I heard myself say
‘when you realize the kind of battles you are contending with, you know that on some days, and in some seasons, sleep is a luxury you can not afford’
What led to me uttering this statement?
I took a mental inventory of my family. I started from my mom’s family and I started to notice some trends, some patterns. I started to mentally ask myself questions. What caused the pattern and why is it still there?
I noticed there were similarities in the kinds of men, females in that part of the family married and how their marriages were not been enjoyed but endured. I started to look out for successful people in the line and I realized if success were to be defined by having a stable family, health and prosperity, many weren’t successful. I decided to stroll to my Dad’s part of the family and I started looking out for the patterns and trends. With every pattern and trend I saw, I realized something, it didn’t start with their generation, it started with the generation before theirs but because they probably weren’t sensitive enough to pick out those patterns and determine that on their watch, such will not happen to them, the trend flowed into their own generation.
I moved away from family and started to analyze some situations and I started noticing same thing- trends and patterns. Subtle ones but there nonetheless.
At times the reason we do not know a battle is at our doorstep is because we have called it by another name..
I have learnt that I owe it to myself as an adult to look into some situations and correct it. I owe it to my future to look into the history of the loins from which I came and tell myself…THIS will not re-occur on my watch.
This morning I started to look over and ponder on every prophesy, those that came before my birth and those that came after and I came to a conclusion.
I cannot be sleeping.
I heard DDK say something at a conference I attended April last year.
If only I knew that God said it , I believe it, I receive it was NOT enough, I would have made quantum leaps in my life. You war with prophecies, you don’t decorate your diary with prophecies.
This 23rd year and especially in this season, I realize that I need to pay it forward. There are sacrifices to be made, conversations with God to be made and a good chunk of riding solo. Funny, I was in a conversation with my pastor some few days ago and he was pushing me to do more and become more to which my response was but why do I have to be this responsible? Why do I have to take my life this seriously?
Now I think I understand why.
And that is the reality of life. You live it forward but only understand it backwards.
And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do. 1chronicles 12:37
The thought of what the next few months of my life will be, terrifies me in a good way.
This babe is game.