I find that I thrive more in environments where I am not constrained mentally. When a limitation is placed on how I should think and when I should think, I begin to feel very uncomfortable and usually, I start looking for a way out. I start looking for an outlet, a platform, something to just let that side of me, that part of me out. I don’t pull out of that environment, I just make sure that I have an avenue to let that side of me flow.
I realize that I am constantly evolving, the woman I was yesterday is not the woman I am now, physically nothing may have changed, I probably didn’t increase numerically too but I find that the things that served me before, do not serve me now. My taste is changing. My taste in people and thirst for things. I am constantly evolving. I think it comes with a change of season. You just find different sides of you, parts, you never knew existed.
This season has been soul searching for me. I find wisdom in crazy places, I draw insights from almost anything, I introspect a lot. I am consumed by a need to deliver greatness to my generation. I am driven by a passion and vision that is bigger than me.
I am weird.
I don’t try hard to be. I just am. In everyday language it is probably called creative. I am a creative and conformity usually stifles me.
Writing is a great outlet for me. It is not uncommon to find me with a journal or my phone. I am almost always writing. I realize that the greatest gift God has given to me is my mind and writing is an extension of that gift and when I don’t put it to use, I start to feel funny.
Blogging gives me a platform.
This blog gives me a platform to write, it gives me a platform to project my writing, to dump my most random thoughts, to hone my voice. I find that God speaks to me a lot and lot of what He says makes uncommon sense to me. So I need to keep writing them down and then keep stretching my mind to receive it.
This blog is like an haven for me, at times I go over some things I write and I know that I needed to write that. Sometimes to gain clarity, because I realize that I get clarity when I read what I have written or hear myself speak. I also realize that some things I write are not for me, they are for someone else.
Somethings I call random thoughts or common knowledge often times are not. The perspective I call mainstream at times are not. Writing is bigger than me. It not just stringing words together. It is more than that. l know that a lot of times God just needs me to put my finger on my keypads and He provides the content. He told me very recently:
“You don’t always need to have a closure for your writings. See writing first as therapy for your soul, and then art”.