The Spirit of ‘Doing My Own Back’

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So someone treated you in a way they should not have and now your life’s foremost pursuit is to prove them wrong. Your ambition is to show them that you made it, you turned out well despite what they thought.

The full texture of some hurts cannot be captured with words, so I won’t even attempt to write that I understand. I don’t.

I know it hurts though.

The resentment, the anger, the emotions that surfaces when you remember what they said, what they did, you can almost touch the bile rising in your throat. 

I need you to understand that what they said about you is a reflection of their heart towards you and so the joke is not on you. The words, the deeds were never about you to even begin with. You just happened to be a recipient of the vile emotions. You were caught in the cross fire.

Be the bigger person.

I understand it is tiring but you need this for your emotional health. For your sanity. Make excuses for them. If they know better, they will do better. They didn’t know better and even if they did, still be the bigger person. I know you want them to eat their words. Heck, you have imagined how the clap back will go down.

You see girl, it is not your prerogative to determine if they will eat their words. It is not your prerogative to determine when they will eat their words. Eating their words shouldn’t even be the priority.

Growing to become a woman who can love the naysayers even when they are at their loudest is the goal. Growing to become a woman who can love the naysayers even when it looks like they were right about you is the goal.

It takes a certain kind of woman to be that way. Trust me, love is the ultimate clap back.

Love is the ultimate clap back.

One of my life textbook puts it this way:

”Until you accept that you have no power over when someone will reap what they have sown, you will be staring at the ground waiting for their harvest while you miss yours”.

This perspective doesn’t make the kind of sense you understand or even want to read but your soul is not prospering because of the unforgiveness. I know and you know too.

You really really really want to see them cringe when they finally realize that you made it, that you turned out opposite of their expectations.

So you go into the subliminal Instagram, Facebook and Twitter posts.

And then what next?

Another life lesson:

Do not allow anyone make a terrible person out of you because of their experiences. 

Nobody, No-one should have that kind of power over you.

Recall the mantra is to be a kind of person. 

The goal is to be a kind of woman. A woman whose rarity stuns. If it were easy every woman will be that woman.
It is not easy and that is why I am proposing you consider letting go as down payment for the future. For your future.

Be the bigger person.

Cut them loose.