Just in case I mess up, this is the kind of reality check I would expect from my bestie.
The attention you want is unavailable so you seek succor elsewhere. Elsewhere is toxic and you know it but you are needy. The need for attention twisted your sense of dignity so you put your birth right on sale.
Your estimation of what should be right in this situation is on power saver. You are making a mistake and you know.
I understand perfectly that this is life, and you are meant to make mistakes but the idea of a mistake is the unintentionality of it. Mistakes come with a level of ignorance and the assumption is if you knew better you would do better.
This mistake was avoidable and this is not remotely even about being judgemental, it is about being your friend.
See babe, what we have is precious and rare. I have a feeling this friendship will outlive us and eventually we may pass the baton to our daughters, but it is important that we model an example of friendship that shows that correction done in love is important for a healthy relationship.
You see Dee, what we have presently is worth this level of directness. It may seem harsh but I trust your maturity. I am obligated to scolding you when you mess up and without an explanation too. It is part of the Besties Creed. We are besties and what that means in very loose terms is that, I am committed to giving you sense when your ability to choose correctly goes awol.
The reality of the situation on ground now is, you knew what you were getting into, you knew your need shouldn’t be calling the shots, you knew your emotions should not put a leash on you.
You knew but you still did it.
You knew Dee.
That is the difference.
You had the knowledge that getting into this was not worth it and you could have used the knowledge but you did not.
Will power could have bailed on you, but it did not. You could have averted this by being a bit more in touch with yourself but you did not.
This mistake did not just happen, you made it happen and this again I repeat is not about being morally superior or judgemental, it is about having reality checks and admitting that you messed up.
You messed up Dee. This shouldn’t have happened.
You are 23 and that should be an excuse but how about we make it a reason. A reason why you shouldn’t be falling hand like this.
Have you noticed you are running out of youth to make bad choices like this?
Dee, your future is counting on you.
The woman you can be is counting on you.
I am counting on you.
I hope you remember this when next something similar comes up.
Of course you know I love you and my love for you right now means I am obligated to talk you into being the you you were before this happened.
It’s reality check babe, and this is what friends do. They commit to having your back publicly and correct you privately.
I loh you too.
P.S So I know you feel bad and as your bestie I should share in the guilt to ease the burden?
Rabbit that you are, see where your pig headedness has landed us. Okay, let’s do it this way (goes into the modalities and offers useful counsel)
And if it ever happens that something like this reoccurs, this is what you should do (goes into the modalities and offers useful counsel)
P.S.S You do know I am unfriendable no?
You dare not not pick my calls, I will stalk you till you give in, even in your dreams.
I love you Dee.