I am intrigued and terrified by the spotlight. I don’t want to be out there. I don’t want the spot, the light and any other thing that will put me out there. I just want to be in a little corner, stay put, do all I am asked to and die.
Crazy Life Ambition.
Even as I type this, I know it makes no sense whatsoever because I can’t run away from the very thing I was created for.
I was born for illumination.
To give and to receive it.
I fear my strengths.
It reads and sounds crazy but it is my truth. I fear my strengths and anything that puts it on display.
I especially fear a public display of my strengths.
I fear my gifts.
I fear being seen, I fear being heard.
I fear greatness.
I have seen it pull down people and reduce them to nothing.
I have seen it intoxicate people and make them act funny.
The consequences, the price, the demands it makes from people makes me cringe.
I think I am in a phase.
It will pass.