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I am intrigued and terrified by the spotlight. I don’t want to be out there. I don’t want the spot, the light and any other thing that will put me out there. I just want to be in a little corner, stay put, do all I am asked to and die.

Crazy Life Ambition.

Even as I type this, I know it makes no sense whatsoever because I can’t run away from the very thing I was created for.

I was born for illumination.

To give and to receive it.

I fear my strengths.

It reads and sounds crazy but it is my truth. I fear my strengths and anything that puts it on display.

I especially fear a public display of my strengths.

I fear my gifts.

I fear being seen, I fear being heard.

I fear greatness.

I have seen it pull down people and reduce them to nothing.

I have seen it intoxicate people and make them act funny.

The consequences, the price, the demands it makes from people makes me cringe.

I think I am in a phase.

It will pass.