Are You A Wannabe?

Image Credit: Shantel Martin

I recently peeked into the decision making process of an influencer. The exposure I got was so profound, it triggered a lot of thoughts. They were exclusive musings, but I knew I had to write about it here. If you find writings about authenticity interesting,  you will be able to relate with where I am drawing my perspective from.

Who is a Wannabe?
Wannabe /ˈwɒnəbi/
a person who tries to be like someone else or to fit in with a particular group of people.
More definitions in tune with the context of this post:

A. A wannabe is someone who is attracted to the pomp and glitter of the good life.

She wants a good life and she wants it publicly. She likes being seen.

N:B There is nothing wrong with being seen, but when your self-esteem fluctuates according to external affirmation, it is indicative of a weak core.

B. A wannabe has a compulsive need to be validated and affirmed. She doesn’t have a mind of her own. She always wants to follow trends and fads.

C. A wannabe is intrigued by the opinions of others, will do anything not to get on the bad side of people and has a tendency to cheerlead causes just to get attention.

D. A wannabe has a thought process that says ”I want to ride that car so ‘they’ can know that I too ‘belong”’. The aspiration is valid but the intent is skewed. She wants to attend trending events so that she can put up pictures alongside that celebrity on the ‘gram’. A wannabe thinks, “if I wear that dress, style my hair that way then ‘they’ will know I am the ‘happening’ woman”.

E. A wannabe is delusional. She believes she is a constant muse for spectators who take cues for living from her life. It’s the reason her thought process is littered with the ‘they’ & ‘them’ pronouns.

They will think…

I don’t want them to see…

F. A wannabe has a low self-esteem, always thrives more in fraternities and cannot  bear to be by herself. The strength of her influence is measured by the number of cliques she belongs to. She doesn’t understand the uniqueness of her individuality and may never explore seeing herself first as an individual. 

Here are 5 reasons why being a Wannabe is a NO-NO

A. It is a turn off for authentic people. A wannabe is too engrossed trying to be someone else, she is oblivious to a lot of things.  People of repute are authentic and like to have people who are authentic around them. When you come off trying to be like them, they can instantly tell.

B. Wannabes give people room to make assumptions and reach conclusions about them that may not be true. You might not be ‘like that’ or be that ‘kind of person’, but because you have the ‘I must belong’ demeanour, people start to think of you and see you ‘that way’.  Real people can spot wannabes miles away.

C. It exposes you to unwarranted indignities. Wannabes get treated with dismissal and a polite disdain so humiliating, when you place it side by side with the cost of being authentic, you realize that you are paying way too high a price sacrificing your individuality for cheap visibility and affirmation.

Have you noticed there are people who have an aura that compels one to adjust? When you are around them, you are compelled not by words but by a force to make your best behaviour your only behaviour. That aura is called authenticity. When you are authentic and in touch with your core i.e the essence of your individuality, people can tell. You no longer have to speak or ‘try’ to influence. Your presence speaks more volumes than words can ever do justice to.

D. Nobody’s life should be that inspiring to make you want to be them in order to be accepted. You should rethink the word ‘acceptance’ and everything that comes with it.

Why do you need to be accepted? 

By who?

What attends to being accepted and why should you want it?

If you are Christian, you have been accepted. This translates to having a validation and affirmation system rooted firmly and only on His acceptance. 

E. Being a wannabe is not worth it. There is too much emotional investment with fluffy returns that cannot be sustained. You are enough.

Be you.