BO and I recently had a conversation on the things we learned in our first year of marriage. These 8 lessons (in no specific order) stood out for us:
- Marriage is not the use of another human being. Marriage is two whole people coming together for the furtherance of a God mission.
- It is possible to marry someone you are compatible with but on a different level of growth than in specific areas. It doesn’t mean you both aren’t good for each other, it just means for a season, one person has to be willing to nurture and the other has to be willing to learn until the both of you are on a level of growth you are comfortable with. This dynamic will change from time to time.
- How you get what you have is often more important than having what you have.
- Don’t report your spouse to your family, his capacity to lead you will be questioned and that may tamper with how he is perceived and received subsequently.
- Getting married is often a walk in the park when placed side by side with staying married. Staying married is where the real work is.
- It is impossible to have a great marriage without the help of the Holy Spirit.
- It is possible to disagree without acting out of character.
- What you say and do when your emotions are heightened will linger in the mind of your spouse way longer than you think. You might ask for forgiveness and be forgiven but it is more beautiful when there is really nothing to forgive because you were able rein in your emotions.